“You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories.” – Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (via BrainyQuote)
My philosophy towards music is that we should not limit ourselves to one category simply because we claim that it is our favorite genre; rather, we should be open to exploring and welcoming different melodies because you never know what you may stumble across. That being said, I recently fell in love with a Chinese song by two Taiwanese singers, Jay Chou and aMEI, titled, “不該” (“Shouldn’t Be,” 2016).
While I am not Chinese, nor have studied the language, I cannot deny that this song evokes the feeling of sadness, as well as the memories of a love once cherished. This song shares the bittersweet story of everyone who has fallen in, and then out of love, with lingering memories will not fade away peacefully with time. The chorus effectively captures a lingering break up:
你依舊 住在我的 回憶裡不 出來
Nǐ yī jiù zhù zài wǒ de huí yì lǐ bù chū lái
You still live inside my memories and won’t come out
(credit: Asian Euphoria).
At the end of a relationship, 99% of you wants to move on, leaving the past stay in the past, but there is that 1% that refuses to let go. That minuscule feeling is the cause of all the money spent on chocolate and Netflix binges used to numb the various emotions accompanied with those memories, which as a side note probably contributes to junk food profits, even though unhealthy food is so yesterday. Why can we easily trash physical reminders of a relationship, while erasing mental one are not as easy?
In time, there will be a new love who will try to fill the hole left behind by the previous one, but like a lock and key, there is only one person who can make it whole again. However, that is okay too – the unfilled crevices serve as a bittersweet indication that you did experience love, and will serve as a way to appreciate a new lover’s affection is a more wholesome manner. This begs the never-ending question – should we be grateful to have experience such a love or is it better to have lived a life without experiencing it and getting hurt? The former asks if the battle scars are worth it, while the latter wonders if you have truly lived without understanding what love could be.
Long after the physical reminders are gone, the mental reminders will still linger, though they may fade with time. There will still be times when you see something random, feel a pang that you have not felt in many years, and remember a love story that taught you what love is, both the good and the bad.
the girl who still (fondly) remembers you, her first real love
p.s. Attached below is the music video for this beautiful song via YouTube. I hope you feel some sort of way like I did, when I first heard it. Also, do not forget the snow!